Compassionate.  Connected.  Clear.  Creative.

A    Attune.  First to yourself:  meet your present moment with presence, honesty, and without judgement.   Then attune to your child the same way.

B   Belly.  Find those belly laughs with your child, your loved ones. Follow the joy.  And, trust your gut.  You know more than you think, and you feel more than you know.  You definately know your child more than anyone else does.

C   Connect.  In all the ways: Connect memories to present experience. Connect with your loved one before correcting them.  Connect the behaviors that you observe with the meaning they have.   Connect with your community.

D   Dare.  Dare to question "the experts" and get more information before making any decision.  Also dare to not already know what is best is sometimes, to allow space for growing your mindset or expanding your perspective.

E   Engage.  Know the stories of the people in your village raising your children with you.  Listen to others' stories, ask questions, and offer your perspective and gems to others in your circle.  Engage your inner child's creativity.

F   Flexibility.  Envision your dreams, while knowing reality requires adapting to many unexpected turns. From birth plans to therapy plans, schools to summer camps, parties to pizzas, practice flexibility at a moment's notice.

G   Good Enough.  By no means is perfection ever expected.   Many mistakes will (and must!) be made, and what's more important is that sensitive and responsive care exists even just 30-50% of the time, and that's good enough, so ditch the stress. (DW Winnicott)

H   How you are is as important as what you do.  This guiding principle of infant mental health can serve us in so many capacities along the journey. What is your interpretation?  (Attributed to the late great Jeree Pawl)

I   Imagine.  In all the ways!  One is to imagine what your child might say if they could talk.   Imagine what you'd say to yourself as a child their same age.  Imagine what would happen if you said these all aloud! 

J   Just breathe.   Truly.

K   Knowledge.  Yes, it's power. Your knowledge of the birthing process, of child development, and of parenting, are all valuable protactive factors in developing resilient children and communities.  Build your knowledge. 

L   Learn, Lean in.   Be curious about your birth journey, your child, and yourself, in all the ways you value most. What are the pros and cons of the options available to you? What is your child's experience like in this very moment?  How can you deepen your support around your child?  How do you learn best?  What can be learned from this challenge?  Be prepared to be surprised.

M   Match.  When we act in ways our child CAN DO AND WANTS TO DO,  our child interacts and learns more. We match by playing and acting like the child at times, and when we have their attention, then show a possible and interesting next step. (Communicating Partners, James MacDonald)

N   Never say never.  SO cliché!  ...and yet so true...You thought you'd never accept an epidural.  You thought you'd never chestfeed for over a year.  You thought you'd never put your baby in front of a screen, or give your preteen a smart phone.  You never envisioned yourself reframing disability as a strength. You'd thought you'd never remind yourself of your parent....until they happen!   The trick is to make the best decisions with what you have capacitity and resources for in each moment, and give yourself constant grace.

O   OWL:  Observe. Wait. Listen.   A powerful stance, we first notice what our child is doing, then what stop talking and lean in to show we are interested, and we carefully tune into what the child does to communicate their experience in any way.  OWL your way into interactions and conversations (from the Hanen Centre).  

P   Practice.  It all needs practice.  Practice your breaths before the birth.  Practice the therapy techniques until they no longer feel strange. Practice patience until you respond instead of react.  When you fail the first many times, just keep practicing.  There's a reason even the professionals call what they do a "practice!"

Q   Quality.  It's the quality, not quantity, of moments that matters most with your child, so let go of guilt if you're working hard to provide for your family while you cannot be with them.   Also, when it comes to chosing your support village (doulas, professionals, therapists), the quality of your relationship with them matters as much as, if not more than, their credentials or experience.  

R   Rest.  In labor (in birthing and in working!). With a baby. With a child. With a loved one. With yourself. Rest is a form of both resilience and resistance.

S   Stay in the moment. Yes, create vision, yes set goals, yes prepare for later!  But seeing and staying in the moment is what gets us there. When we hyperfocus on the outcome and not the process, we miss steps and can trip up along the way.  Yes, we hold in mind the moment we will hold our baby, but stay with each contraction as they come.  Yes, we want to hear our children finally talk, but stay with how they are communicating right now.

T   Toot your own horn!  You've already done A LOT, and have so much wisdom to share, and even more to be proud of.  Take a moment - often - to celebrate how far you've come,  what you've overcome, and all the ways you've made your child's world a wonderful place to be.  Whether you're just starting out or have been through it all, you've made a beautful difference just by being you.

U   Unmatch socks.  If you can just accept early on that you may never have matching socks for you or your children, having a harmonious future with children in your house may be much more possible.

V   Vacations aren't a thing for a while.  On a similar vein, let's refer to "trips" and "adventures" with children, but not "vacations" if children are coming with you....still very good to do!  Just shift your expectations if you haven't already....

W   Wonder.  Wonder what your child is taking in, in this moment. Wonder what your effect might be. Wondering brings an openness and curiousity to the inner lives of our children, deepening our connections, even in the most challenged moments.

eX   eXhale.  Exhaling longer than inhaling activates the vagus nerve, which helps lower stress and anxiety, release muscle tension, and supports core engagement. (Childbirth and parenting, anyone?)

Y   You are your baby's best toy in the room.   Full stop.

Z   Zzz.  Sleep.  Invest energy in sleeping well.  For you.  For your baby. (Even between contractions.) Yes, easier said than done. But do it!

Dr. Gina Cardillo (‘car-DILL-owe’) is passionate about supporting lifelong learners. In her work, she puts relationships first, recognizing that attuned, reciprocal, and reflective connections between people are what ultimately drives all learning and resilience, at any point on life’s journey.  

She strives to be a devoted communication therapist and partner for families and early childhood education professionals.  She is guided by principles of healing-centered practice, infant and early childhood mental health, developmental and cognitive (neuro)psychology.

Her clinical and research background focused on the highly sensitive Prenatal to 3rd grade period. She served as a senior Early Support therapist at Kindering’s Families in Transition Team, which supported families experiencing resilience in their safety, housing, and self-empowerment journeys with infants and toddlers. 

She is currently the Speech & Language therapist (and former department manager) at Northwest Center Early Supports, serving families 0-3 years old in the Seattle area. 

A dynamic and engaging presenter, she has developed customized courses, workshops and keynotes, and serves as an advisor and consultant in the early learning community.  

She served as the Interim Director of Education at the Hearing, Speech & Deaf Center in Seattle, and was the founding Director of Outreach at the University of Washington’s Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences.  

As a state-approved trainer in WA, Gina also develops professional learning opportunities, which include promoting resilience and relationships in educational settings. 

A former faculty member at the University of Washington College of Education (Department of Early Childhood and Family Studies, and Special Education), some favorite courses she developed were Family & Community Engagement (online learning), and Risk & Resilience in Infants & Toddlers.

She holds a Magna Cum Laude BS in Psychology and Linguistics from Cornell University, and a PhD in Speech and Hearing Sciences from the University of Washington.  

Gina enjoys forest bathing in the Pacific Northwest, immersing in escape-the-room games, chatting with her parrots, and cheering for her hometown Pittsburgh Steelers. Her most treasured role is being a parent to three strong, kind, and brave  children: a son and twin daughters.   (Yes, that's them all over this site!)